Good Manners in the Office

Do manners matter at work?
Should you really
be expected to be polite all the time, or can you bend the rules
in the name of efficiency or self-preservation?
When your boss calls and you're in the middle of a meeting with a
colleague, you answer it. It must be important – after all, it's
your boss! Never mind that your colleague and the meeting are
important too, it's your boss on the phone!
Or what about when you're running behind? It's
3:50pm and the report you're preparing has to be out by 4:00pm
sharp. You print it off and the paper jams in the middle of your
job. There's no time to fix it so you resend the print job to
another printer, but you don't go back and sort it out once your
report's delivered. Instead, you just leave the jam for someone
else to discover and fix. Sure, it's an inconvenience for them,
but it wasn't exactly your fault that the printer jammed, was
it?
You know that behaviors like this are rude.
You wouldn't behave in this way outside of the office. So why
do we then allow ourselves to behave inconsiderately at work?
There is a definite double standard when it
comes to workplace manners. It's common to see people doing things
at work they wouldn't dream of doing in a social setting. But
you can't allow these behaviors to persist if you want to create
and maintain a healthy work environment.
Disrespectful and discourteous behavior makes members of your team
unhappy, and damages the cohesion of your team. It works against
all of the efforts you make to motivate team members, and thereby
raise productivity. With this in mind, there is simply no excuse
for bad manners. Whether you are interacting with a person higher
or lower on the corporate hierarchy, giving feedback, issuing
instructions or exerting power; good manners are an absolute
necessity.
To make sure your workplace is free of rude behavior requires a
two-pronged approach:

Encouraging good manners.
Stamping out poor manners.

Encouraging Good Manners
Most of the time when bad manners surface at
work it is unintentional. It's easy to get caught up in your own
tasks and projects. People's focus gets so narrow that they forget
to consider the impact that their words or actions will have on
other people.
In an attempt to be efficient and productive we take a few
liberties with our manners at work. Perhaps, at one time, we
apologetically said, "I'm sorry, we have to stop the discussion
and move onto the next point." But now we blurt out, "Next!" or
"Let's get on with it, people!"
While the intention may be the same, the degree of bluntness, or
even rudeness, used nowadays is unacceptable – at work or
anywhere.
If good people are bruised by someone else's rudeness once too
often, you risk losing them. How long is it going to take to find
an equally good replacement, and bring them "up to speed"? How
much is this going to cost? And what opportunities will you have
lost in the meantime?
When disrespectful conduct starts surfacing throughout a company,
or when it's used by executives or other key people, it can become
part of the organization's culture. Poor manners can be quickly
absorbed into cultural norms, especially when no one stands up and
demands courteous and polite behavior.
So what can you do if rudeness is endemic within the culture of
your organization?

In conjunction with your colleagues, focus
on the problem behaviors and create a list of the behaviors
that are expected within your team. Be specific so that people
really understand what constitutes good manners. Depending on
where the problems lie, you may want to include these items:

Email and Internet expectations.
Where people eat.
What people wear.
Meeting routines and etiquette.
Physical state of individual workstations.
Working in close quarters.
Communication style – tone, manner, language.
Use of supplies and equipment – common
and co-workers' own.
Telephone manners.


Demonstrate all the appropriate behaviors
in your own actions, whatever your place in the corporate hierarchy.
Acting as a role model is one of the most effective means of
reinforcing what is acceptable and expected.
Until things improve, consider adding a "Manners"
heading to the agenda of your regular team meeting to emphasize
and entrench the importance of change.
Recognize people for demonstrating polite
behavior. Make a point of thanking people for turning off their
cell phones before entering a meeting, or making a new pot of
coffee after taking the last cup.
Until things improve, consider adding a manners
category to your performance review process. This elevates manners
to a core competency level in your organization and underpins
how important it is to effective performance.

Stamping Out Bad Manners
Encouraging good manners is one side of the
coin. The other requires developing mechanisms and strategies
to eliminate poor manners from your workplace. When workplace
manners begin to slip, it can be hard to stop the slide and regain
control.
Open communication and empathy are perhaps your
strongest weapons for controlling discourtesy in the office. When
people stop talking or sharing their experiences and concerns,
or when they stop considering how their actions make others feel,
poor behavior can start to work its way into the fabric of the
organization's culture.
Consider this scenario. A few jokes get passed around the
company's intranet. Everyone has a good laugh. Then slowly, over
time, the jokes get more and more explicit. No one says anything
because nobody wants to be the one who stops all the fun. Then a
harassment complaint is made, the fun comes to a screeching halt –
and everyone wishes they had said something earlier to stop the
inappropriate behavior.
Or you start noticing that your snacks and drinks are missing from
the fridge. You don't say anything because it's just a pop or a
snack-size yogurt. You don't want people to think you're cheap or
a complainer so you bring a cooler to work and put it under your
desk.
While the magnitudes of these issues are vastly different, what
allows the situation to deteriorate is poor communication from one
side and a lack of empathy from the other.
First, you have to have a workplace where there is open and honest
communication. When you do, your co-workers feel comfortable
voicing their concerns and there are mechanisms in place for
resolving conflicts.
Along with these, people must also believe that something will
done to address their concerns. They have to see that their issues
are taken care of and that management is just as concerned about
poor behavior as they are.
On the flip side, people must take responsibility for their
actions. They must think about the impact of what they say or do
has on other people and the workplace in general. Whenever you
have people working together, there has to be a high level of
respect and concern for others.
Some tips for creating this type of workplace include:

Developing a staff feedback system.
Clearly defining what is not acceptable in
terms of appropriate workplace behavior. This should refer to
the "good manners" document you create as part of
the process of encouraging good manners.
Applying a fair and consistent discipline
procedure.
Creating a conflict resolution process that
begins with people speaking directly to one another, but where
they then get progressively more outside support and assistance
if a solution can't be worked out.
Depending on national culture, consider encouraging
people to use the words "I'm sorry" or "I apologize"
– and mean it.
Encouraging people to ask themselves, "How
would the other person like to be treated in this situation?"
Perhaps even put these words and phrases in prominent areas
of the office as reminders to be polite and courteous.


Key Points
Using good manners is fundamental to a healthy
workplace. It is never right to act in ways that you would never
think of doing in a social setting. When you or others cross the
courtesy line, it's time to revisit the basics of manners and
consideration within your organization. When your company has
a foundation of good manners, it will encourage your co-workers
to act appropriately – and it will encourage them to accept nothing
less from those around them.

Apply This to Your Life

Ask yourself if you apply a double
standard to workplace manners compared with social manners.
What excuses have you used to justify your lapses in manners?
Do these excuses stand up to rational inspection?
Make a list of things you've done at
work that have been less than polite. Reflect on these
actions and set a goal for yourself to use your best manners
at work and at home.
If there is a recent incident where
you felt you were treated poorly, or you treated someone
else poorly, develop a plan to resolve the issue. Communicate
openly and honestly with the person and share your experiences
and feelings.