Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Do you want to improve your relationships and
engage with others more elegantly; or be better able to use
language to influence, motivate and generate creative ideas?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can help you to achieve this –
and more. This article gives you a flavor of what NLP is about,
and a few different examples of how you can use it.
What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?
NLP is a set of advanced communication skills. These have been
identified through the study of top performers – those who are
excellent at what they do. By understanding and replicating
(modeling) their thinking and behavior patterns, this approach
argues that you can achieve the same positive results.

The tools, techniques and strategies derived from these studies
help you to understand yourself and others; how you act and react
in the world; how you and others communicate; and how you can
easily gain rapport with others to realize positive outcomes.

To better understand NLP, remember the last time your boss called
you into his office after you finished a difficult project. Or,
recall how you felt when you stepped on a stage or delivered a
presentation. Or think about how a child reacts to a parent's
angry or frustrated tone of voice.
In such situations, reactions are often automatic and can occur
without conscious thought. These instinctive reactions may be
positive and useful, but they can also be negative and unhelpful.
Through NLP, you become more aware of your reactions, and learn to
change them – including what you say – in a positive and useful
way.

Note:
John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the
fathers of NLP, called their model 'neuro' because the patterns
they discovered were at the level of our neurological processes,
'linguistic' to represent the ways our language reflects our
neurology, and 'programming,' reflecting our ability to break
free from our programmed behavior and choose to organize our
ideas and actions in the way that we want.

Using NLP
You use NLP to enhance your ability to behave positively and
constructively. NLP techniques help you develop rapport, connect
with others, communicate to be understood, and understand others.
With it, you can use language skills and patterns to ask powerful
questions and achieve positive outcomes.


NLP helps you understand the outcome you want in a given
situation, and develop sufficient awareness to know whether you're
moving towards or away from this outcome. It teaches you to be
flexible about changing your behavior, so that you can achieve the
desired outcome.

For example, you may want to negotiate a business contract
successfully. NLP can help you become more aware of what you are
saying, how you are saying it and whether or not the other person
is engaged in your presentation. Through this awareness, you can
shift your behavior or your speech to re-engage them, if
necessary, and to achieve your goal successfully.

Here's another example: While in a difficult discussion, you can
use NLP to help you shift your perception and imagine yourself
standing in the other person's shoes. This can help you better
appreciate where they are coming from. Similarly, to wrap up the
discussions, you might take a helicopter view of things to get a
sense of the bigger picture, before zooming back down into the
detail and agreeing the final outcome.

NLP can also help to increase your confidence levels in public
speaking. By exploring your internal state when you are feeling
confident, you can map these images and sensations across to
situations in which you are less confident. Your unconscious mind
picks up on these subtle shifts and increases your confidence.
Create Rapport for Excellent Outcomes
Although most of us are probably very good at creating rapport and
connecting with others, we all experience times when things do not
go as well as we would like. For example, take difficult meetings
with an unhappy client, or pay raise discussions with your boss.
NLP helps you foster a positive rapport with the other person,
which eases the flow of the discussion and improves the likelihood
of a positive outcome.

Mirroring someone's body language, tone of voice, or even rate of
speech can help strengthen your rapport with the other person.
Unconsciously, the other person picks up that you are like them,
and we all like people who are like us.

You can also connect with others by speaking the same language. We
take in our experiences through our sight, hearing, feelings and
even our senses of smell and taste. Our speech reveals our
preferred sensory language in a particular context.

Have you every heard someone say, 'I see what you mean,' 'I get
the picture,' 'I hear what you are saying,' 'That rings a bell,'
'I've just got this gut feeling about something' or 'I'll be in
touch'? Developing the skill to pick up on this sensory language
will help you modify your use of words.

Additionally, by developing an awareness of the subtle shifts of
body language, you get an insight into what may be going on with
the other person. What do shifts in posture (tall or slumped) tell
you? Have you seen someone's face turn red while they get nervous,
or go deathly pale after hearing upsetting news?

By delving further into the mechanics of language and how people
communicate, you can identify patterns that help you understand
human behavior. Are they distorting, deleting or generalizing? Do
they like options, or prefer to follow procedures? Knowing what
motivates people can help you deal with them.

Common Misconceptions
Some people believe that NLP involves manipulating others into
doing what you want them to do, for example, a pushy salesperson
persuading you to buy something you really did not want. And NLP can
be used this way, at least to some extent.
However, it's the use of the tool that
determines manipulation, not the tool itself. If the tool is
used to disadvantage someone else, then this is manipulation. If
it's used for his or her advantage, then the tool is being used
in a positive way.
Another misconception is that NLP is
used to detect whether someone is lying, by watching their eye
movements. Part of developing your sensory acuity is about
picking up subtle eye movements, and understanding that
different movements have different meanings. However, since the
meanings associated with every individual's eye movements are
unique, you need to understand what they mean before you can
even begin to use NLP for this purpose. It is far from being a
quick and simple lie-detector.

Where Do You Go from Here?
A good source of information on NLP is the website for the ANLP ( www.anlp.org ),
an independent organization with an established public reputation
for promoting standards, professionalism and good practices in
NLP.
If you are interested in taking NLP courses, the International NLP
Trainers Association (INLPTA) website ( http://www.inlpta.org ) is
an excellent starting point. INLPTA sets international standards
for NLP training courses and INLPTA members follow these standards
of quality, professionalism and ethics. Certified INLPTA trainers
will clearly indicate their affiliation and accreditation with
INLPTA. Training providers offer courses at the Diploma,
Practitioner and Master Practitioner levels. The Diploma level
provides excellent insight into NLP and can be a basis for
enhancing your communication skills.

Key Points
NLP can enhance your existing communication skills to help you
have a greater impact, create effortless change and further
enhance your ability to connect with anyone, anytime and anywhere.
NLP helps you improve your ability to speak persuasively, and
listen to others to make them feel they are understood.

By using NLP techniques, you can more easily speak the language of
your audience so that your words have a greater impact; and create
effortless change by identifying behavior that may be preventing
you from achieving your goals. In short, NLP can help you
communicate excellently.