The Art of Concise Conversations

Does this sound familiar?
One of your
colleagues phones you for advice about her project.
However,
instead of getting right to the point, she spends 20 minutes
telling you about her son's latest baseball game, your boss's
recent promotion, and the office manager's new shoes.
Or even worse, there's your co-worker who
makes a point, and then spends the next half hour saying it over
and over in several different ways – or he keeps going over the
same conclusions you've both already agreed on. It seems like your
clothes will go out of style before the conversation ends.
Have you been in situations like these? The
business world (and the world in general) is filled with people
who don't seem to know how to stick to the subject. This not only affects
your working relationships, it can also waste a lot of your time.
However, it's important to build relationships
with your colleagues. A lot of this happens in unstructured
conversations – the same conversations that may be considered
"time wasters".
So how do you find the right balance? How can
you have productive conversations, and still leave room to have a
little fun and establish relationships with your co-workers and
clients?
We'll give you some practical approaches to
different types of conversational "time wasters".
Understand Your Audience
All of us are on different schedules, with
different amounts of work that we have to do on different days.
It's important to realize that just because one day you have time for a long, unstructured conversation, this doesn't mean that
your colleague also has time. She might have a deadline to meet –
and the more you talk, the more you may add to her stress because
she needs to get back to her office. This is not the time for
"relationship building"!
Before you start any conversation, try to find out your
colleague's situation. Does she have time to talk? If not, then get
to the point and say what you have to say. She'll probably
appreciate it.
Discuss One Issue at a Time
We've probably all listened to someone who tries to discuss seven
issues in three minutes, all of which need careful consideration.
Remember how you felt when this happened? You were probably
overwhelmed and unable to process all the information.
People need time to think about issues. If you have a lot of
topics to discuss, don't try to talk about all of them at once.
Bring up one point, and then spend time talking about it. This
allows the person you're talking to to focus full attention on that topic. It
also makes the most of the time you spend talking with your
colleague, and it enables you to get quality input about each
issue.

It helps to list all the issues you want to discuss at the
beginning of your conversation, and prioritize the most important.
This makes it easier for everyone to keep track of things – and if
you run out of time, at least you've covered the most important
topics.
Really Listen
Yes, you've probably heard about how important active listening
is, but there's a reason why we're discussing it yet again: Active
listening can help you avoid wasting time when you're talking with
someone.
If you spend too much time thinking about what you're going to
say, you may miss important points that the person you're talking
to makes. As a result, the conversation can take much longer than
it should.
When you really listen to what your colleague says, you're better
able to respond. You make the best use of your conversation time,
instead of discussing the same issues over and over again. You
also show respect, and you demonstrate that you value the other
person's opinion.
Conversation Situations
During our workday, we can have several different types of
conversations. We talk on the phone, we meet face-to-face, we meet
in groups, and we chitchat, having casual conversations around the
office.
Here are some ways to make the most of your time in each of these
situations.
Phone Conversations

Before you make the call, know exactly what you need to talk
about. Spend just a few moments thinking about points to discuss.
This saves time later, because you don't have to try to think of
issues during the conversation.

Know what action or decision you'd like to result from the
conversation. Write it down, and keep it in front of you to stay
focused.

Don't bring up a point more than once. Say what you want to say,
and then wait for a response.

If someone asks you a question and you don't know the answer, be
honest – don't start to talk when you don't really have anything
to say. Ask for a moment to organize your thoughts. If you need
more time, tell the other person that you'll respond later.

Face-to-Face Conversations


Talking in person with someone can often turn into a struggle
for power – it can seem that whoever talks the most is the winner. If this sounds like
something you do, then make an effort to give up that control.
Don't try to dominate the conversation by talking more than the
other person. All you're doing is wasting time and letting your
ego take over.

If your colleague loves to gossip all afternoon, then don't make
it easy for him. When he comes into your office, stand up – and
don't sit back down until he leaves. You can also keep a stack of
books on your office chair so he can't sit down.

Group Meetings


In meetings, we can often hold onto an opinion or idea, and then
"compete" with our colleagues who have opposing ideas. Don't focus
on defending your position, instead of listening to what others
say. This can waste time, prevent learning, and cause stress on
the group. If you have a point, write it down so that you don't
have to hold it in your memory, and then listen carefully to what
others are saying. If your point isn't addressed, you can make
it when you need to.

Meetings can be the perfect place for people who "like the sound
of their own voices". If your group has someone like this, then
place a time limit on everyone. When people get up to speak, give
them a maximum amount of time to make their point (for example,
three minutes). You can even use a timer – when the timer rings,
they have to sit down.

When you're with a group, remember that everyone is there to get
something done. This includes discussing ideas, brainstorming, and
making decisions. A lot of group time gets wasted over
complaining, gossiping, or focusing on problems instead of
solutions. The group is there for action, so focus on what must
get done.

Office Chitchat and Casual Conversations


While office small talk, gossip, and casual conversations are an
important part of relationship building, try to stay in your
office when you have a lot of work to do. This way, you won't run
into others who want to talk when you don't have time. If you must
leave your office, and then colleagues pull you aside, make sure
you tell them where you're going. For example, you can say, "Is
this going to be quick? I'm on my way to a meeting."

Use your lunch hour to connect with colleagues, especially if
your days are really busy. Go out for lunch with someone each week
to have time for casual talk. Then you won't use your work time to
build relationships with other team members.


Key Points
Because our days are filled with so many different types of
conversations, we must find a balance between "relationship
building" conversations and focused, productive conversations. (To
be successful in the business world, we need both.)
Try to understand your listeners' goals before you start
conversations. If they don't have time to talk, then you know it's
important to keep the discussion short. Bring up one issue at a
time, and use active listening when your colleague talks. Plan
your conversations in advance – know what you want to discuss and
what decisions or actions need to result.
And, no matter what types of conversations you have, pay attention
to what's being said. Make your point, and stick to the issue.