Stop Playing "The Blame Game"

Imagine this scenario: You and your team
spend weeks putting together a presentation to bring in a big new
client for your company. But the presentation doesn't go well, and
the potential client walks away.
A few days later, you and your team answer questions from
senior-level management – and the blame begins. It starts with
"Well, this presentation topic wasn't MY idea," and it quickly
moves on to "I think Susan should have organized the slides
better."
Before you know it, an hour has gone by – and the team is still
going in circles, trying to figure out who's at fault, and why.
Have you ever played "the blame game"? It's all too common in the
workplace. While it's important to look at – and learn from –
mistakes, it's also critical that we don't get caught up in whose
fault it is.
Sorting through a messy situation should always come first. Once
you deal with the situation, then you can begin the process of
figuring out what went wrong. Pointing the finger of blame is
rarely constructive.
In the above scenario, wouldn't it have been much better for the
team to sit down and discuss what happened? They could have
figured out what the client really wanted, what the team did well,
and what the team didn't do well. And they could have learned from
the situation, instead of spending all their time and energy
blaming someone for what went wrong.
We'll show you why playing the blame game doesn't help, how to
identify when you or your team is playing the game, and how to move on and
learn from the situation.
The Blame Game
Pointing the finger of blame is usually easy. Why? Because it's
natural to want to defend ourselves. And while the blame game
often involves pointing fingers at many different people, it's
easy to start scapegoating – putting all the blame on one person
or group, when the failure really happened somewhere else, or when
the problem has many different sources. People may start
scapegoating when they don't want to take responsibility for a
mistake or action, or when they want to move attention away from
themselves.

Scapegoating can have many negative effects. The most damaging are
the humiliation, criticism, and loss of self-esteem felt by the
victim. Scapegoating can also damage the integrity of other team
members who witness it, especially if they do nothing to stop it.
And what happens to the people who start the scapegoating in the
first place? When nothing is done to stop their behavior, they may
think it's acceptable – and they're likely to do it again.
And remember, it's possible that, in the end, no one is at fault.
After all: that potential client could choose only one supplier.
What to Look For
Most of us don't like to look bad, so it's understandable to want
to move the focus – and blame – onto someone else. And we often
aren't aware of the actions and words that lead us to blame
others, so it's especially important to step back to see things
clearly.
It's also important to learn how to identify when blame is, or
soon will be, misplaced – so you can stop it from getting worse.
When the team starts to point fingers, people quickly become
defensive and angry.
Be sure to watch out for these things:

People avoid or exclude one or two team members. (The excluded
people are often weaker than the others, either in character or
rank – and they'll probably be absent from the discussion.)
Team members find fault within the group ("Jack was supposed to
check those figures before the presentation").
People deny responsibility ("I didn't do that part of the
project" or "No one showed that to me").
People make no positive comments about the issue. Instead, they
focus completely on the negative.

How to Stop It
When a team starts playing "the blame game," things can get out of
control. The team leader needs to step in and put everything into
perspective. Stop and think about this: Does it REALLY matter who
is at fault? Is all this blame going to solve the problem?
Usually the answer is no. So, everyone's goal should be to assess
where they are right now, and determine what they can do to fix
the current problem. Pointing fingers or finding a scapegoat does
nothing but lower morale and waste valuable time.
However, it's important for the team to understand what's
happening. Getting them back on track is only part of your job.
Yes, they need to find a solution, but they also need to be aware
of how they were focusing on blame and fault.
Your role as a leader is to address these problems and make
changes so the problems don't keep happening.
Try these tips:

Look at the facts. What really happened here?
Discuss the situation openly with your team. If one person began
the process of assigning blame, then ask why he or she did so.
Start the discussion with "We are where we are. Where do we go
from here?" Focus on things the team can do to correct the
situation, or at least learn from it, rather than try to re-live
the past. You can affect the future, but you can't change the
past.
Instead of blaming people, focus on processes. Ask everyone for
suggestions about improving the process so this situation doesn't
happen again.
Never overly protect any one team member. If you do, you can
unwittingly separate that person from the group – and turn him or
her into a target if things go wrong in the future.

Learning from Mistakes
How do you and your team move on after a bad session of the blame
game? Well, it's not always easy. Feelings are hurt, and sometimes
relationships are damaged. The finger pointers can also feel
guilt, shame, and embarrassment for the way they acted.
So, how do you bring people back together?

Keep an open environment – It can be painful at first, but talk
about the situation. Then you can slowly start to heal the wounds.
Apologize – Even if you weren't the one pointing fingers,
apologize to the victim, and emphasize that it won't happen again.
If you can, get the people who did place blame to say they're
sorry. Also, watch for other signs of stress in the victim. If the
situation was particularly bad, you may need to help him or her
fully recover.
Talk to the team – Make sure they understand what they did, why
it was wrong, and why they can never do it again. Stress that this
behavior will not be tolerated. If it happens again, there will be
consequences.
Learn from your mistakes – Perhaps you didn't pay close enough
attention, which allowed this situation to happen the way it did?
Or perhaps there was a problem with team dynamics, which
contributed to all the blame? Take the time to analyze the
situation once it's over. This can help you spot areas where you
might have stopped it earlier. It can also help you fix the
problem, to ensure that it doesn't happen again.



Tip:
In some situations, someone may actually
be to blame, perhaps through sloppiness, lack of effort, or
lack of attention to detail. While you need to make sure
that people don't play the blame game, you also need to
ensure that people are fairly held accountable for their
actions.




Key Points
Almost everyone has participated in the blame game at one point or
another, but it's important to realize that pointing fingers isn't
productive. Learn how to recognize signs that your team is
starting to do this, so you can stop the game early on. And it's
just as important to show people what's happening. Make sure they
clearly see what they're doing, and what the consequences will be
if they continue.
After it's over, discuss the situation, and be willing to learn
from your mistakes. Make sure apologies are given where
appropriate. It might not be easy to heal the wounds, but by
keeping an open environment and not pretending it didn't happen,
there's a good chance that things will improve.